African Women Voices

If I Were a Boy

Four wealthy Russian students who filmed themselves gang-raping a teenage pupil at their private college were condemned by a judge yesterday for taking advantage of the boy while he was drunk.

The women used an iPhone to record the 21/2  hours sex attack during which they gave a running commentary, before they show the film to fellow students.

Police thought that the victim may have had his whisky spiked before he was raped. Video footage on one of the aggressor’s iPhone showed all four women attacking the boy.

Early on the attack one is heard saying: “he’s crying”. Another attacker replied: “What do you care, you are not going to marry him?” *


Firstly, it’s unbelievable. Not only because the aggressors were Russian women. Not only because no man can be that lucky to get laid by four Russian women (I believe some sick minds might secretly conceive this thought). Not only because it did not actually happened, but because in the realm of possibilities women would simply not do that.

Although I believe in the female ability to repress their urgency, it would be unfair to say “a woman would not do that”. A woman would. But because of a cultural setting marked in our brains, the words wealthy Russian students are simply translated in wealthy Russian men.

Nothing wrong with it if this mental setting is telling us that women are far away from repeatedly acting like wild animals (sorry to offend the species). But I’m afraid what our neurons are communicating to us is another message, a note we are too used to: man = attacker, woman = victim.

Even the very genital apparatus tells us that the man is the rapist. In the (horrific) horror movie The Evil Dead by Sam Raimi, a woman trying to escape from a haunted house, ends up being raped by a much alive branch of tree. It’s a disturbing scene. But it wouldn’t have been too much if the rapist was a massive flower that wrapped up male genitals.

Unless we were leaving in an upside world, were women = attacker and men = victims. Thanks god we are not. Not much to be thankful though for the real world.

In an upside world nor in our world, should be “normal” to believe that women can be raped. To put it in a quite disturbing same opportunity statement, there should be as many raped women as men.

This cannot be a solution either. For what would it be of a world were mutual violence is acceptable?

On the other hand, what is of a world were violence on women is acceptable? It goes without saying that the acceptance does not come from law enforcement and court (we still detain some rights). It comes from our own mindset.

Women are capable of evil and despicable acts. However, a man acting violently becomes stronger in the cultural light. As his power grows, the woman becomes weaker. This is a lie. Is like looking in a mirror that distorts your reflection, once you’re very large, once very thin, but your body is in fact still the same. Despite natural differences between male and female, there’s no such thing like a woman being a hunted victim and a man being a predator.

*this is a report from the Times (24/08/2011), I changed the gender of the subjects. Please note this is not how the article appears in the paper


6 comments on “If I Were a Boy

  1. Vandana Gupta (@inav_14)
    27 August 2011

    Such a unique perspective. Very well done, Bea!!

    • Ngalula Beatrice Kabutakapua
      28 August 2011

      Glad you enjoyed it dear!What’s your thought about it? xx

      • Vandana Gupta (@inav_14)
        28 August 2011

        The gender role reversal grabbed my attention instantly! Your intro was unusual – it’s so unfortunate crimes against women are reported so often that they are almost considered ‘ordinary’ nowadays.

        I also 100% agree on your view that society is to be blamed to portray the female as the submissive sex and the male as aggressive. xxx

  2. Vandana Gupta (@inav_14)
    28 August 2011

    Ah, and one more thing – how come we ask the question ‘how can this be?’ only when a woman assaults a man (like in your example), and not when the other way around?

    • Ngalula Beatrice Kabutakapua
      14 September 2011

      that’s exactly my point. And I’m worried that we women are too much used to raise the same question

  3. Pingback: Balobeshayi Lands On Facebook! |

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on 25 August 2011 by in Comment, Women and tagged , , , .

Join 1,539 other subscribers

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1,539 other subscribers


  • 38,939 hits
%d bloggers like this: